The Modesty Survey

Let's talk modesty again, shall we? With a husband, a young son, and two growing girls, it's a favorite topic of mine.

Far too many girls think they can find their worth in what they wear (or what they don't wear; as the case may be). They seem to have garnered somewhere that who they are is defined by the clothes they wear. They also seem to have the gross misconception that they will only find a guy (you know...the one they want to marry) if they are dressed "hot" enough. Honey, if you're looking for a man by the way you dress, then you're not going to find the kind of guy who wants to MARRY you!

It's so hard to get past these pre-conceived notions. They're practically everywhere: TV, magazines, movies, the internet, books, billboards, and even on songs on the radio. It's literally everywhere. In the summer, it's at every neighborhood pool &/or beach!

What does this do? How are we, as women, and our daughters preceived by men when we dress modestly? What about when we don't?

Alex and Brett Harris, the younger brothers of Joshua Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye), created the "Rebelution". Through this site and its forums, they came up with the idea to do a modesty survey. They gathered questions from several hundred women and came up with a final 148 which they then presented to over 1600 guys over the course of 20 days.

This provides an overview of the survey and an explanation of how the questions were worded and answered. The final results can be found here. You can then search by swimsuit, etc. to find answers in a particular subject.

I commend these guys for providing this survey and making the results public!
How we dress really does affect those around us. It can often tell what's important to us. Granted, dressing modestly doesn't have to be out of style. You're prefectly capable of dressing modestly yet still being "in style".



Thirteen31 said...

Well written and I agree with you. As much as one will think wearing that outfit will make them look "hot", it will only attract the male that is looking for ONLY someone who's hot. You're right, that's not what a good marriage would have a basis in if it is to be a lasting one.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting. I wish I could have handed this to a family I sat near to at a musical Friday night. The mother and daughter (who looked about 12) were both wearing very skimpy sundresses. It made me uncomfortable. The little girl (may have been older than she appeared unless she had pushups in the dress) was obviously uncomfortable with the amount of exposure. She was constantly tugging and adjusting the top of her dress which did not appear to be large enough. I was so thankful my young teen and preteen boys weren't there. I'm definitely more aware of how immodest many women and girls are with my boys approaching this age. Thanks again!

Brandy said...

I just found your blog - so forgive the lateness of my comment! I beleive that modesty is very important. Being a teenage girl is hard enough and society throws in their 2 cents about beauty. I think it starts with moms, how can we enforce modesty if we ourselves aren't modest? The truth is we can't! I beleive that it should be taught from birth - not started when they turn 12! If you teach a girl her whole life that being modest is the best choice - she will learn to appreciate it! You can be super stylish and modest at the same time! I know TONS of girls that do it everyday and they are cute! And even our dad's can help by setting an example of appreciating women who are modestly dressed! When my husband started working for his currently company he had to ride along with a man who would constantly point out the seductive pinups on billboards throughout Vegas - until one day my husband saw a woman who was modesly dress and he pointed her out! Needless to day the inappropriate comments ceased. The point is - if our men don't stand up for modesty then neither will our girls! Just my thoughts! Love the blog! Thanks for sharing!

Thoughts of THAT mom said...


I agree that it starts with the parents...and that it should start young with our kids.