The Suite Life!

Okay, so that's a really poor reference to a Disney show. (A Disney show which we haven't seen in almost 2 years since we cut off our cable.) (And I hear from friends on Facebook that they're now on a boat anyway.) But I digress.

The suite life will soon be ours no more. It has been an exciting adventure to be sure. Nevertheless, we are more than excited to be moving into our house!! God has definitely blessed us!

Friday cannot come soon enough!

Gluten-Free Circle

A special thanks to Mashup Mom for the heads up on this one.

Gluten-Free Circle has a section where you can sign up to receive free products or coupons. I just signed up myself so I can't give a personal recommendation on whether this is genuine or not. It was worth a shot for me, though. If interested, go directly to the sign-up page to find more info & sign up!

If you have had personal experience with this organization (good or bad) I'd love to hear it! If you sign up & receive anything, please let me know so I can verify with my readers that they are legit!

Ladies Night Out

I so wish my friends from Michigan could see me now! We thought we were wild & crazy when we had our mom's night out in Holland! HA! They should see me in Vegas. (Excuse me while I now play to Every.Single.Stereotype. about Vegas.)

Seriously, though, ladies...we didn't know what fun was! Tonight, I went & played Bingo. I'm pretty sure this means I have crossed over to the dark side or become evil or something. (Wouldn't crossing over to the dark side & becoming evil pretty much be the same thing? I thought that too after writing it, but I'm to tired to go back & edit it.)

I'd say the night was a success. I came home with an insulated, reusable grocery bag and Jenga.

But wait! I haven't told you the worst part yet! It was in...a casino. (Gasp! Horror! She really has lost her mind! I can't believe they moved to Vegas!)

So there you have it. We now live in Las Vegas, and I have gone to a casino. All hope is lost for me. Oh come on! You knew it was only a matter of time! After all, we DID move to Vegas! What else would we do? (Honey, I have some calls to make. I need to set up a prayer chain for the Thompsons. They've really gone off the deep end now.)

Stereotype played. Can we move on now?

Seriously, we had a great time! I've met some wonderful ladies here, and I'm looking forward to getting to know them better in the coming months & years. With each passing day, I continue to see confirmation that this was a God-ordained move (even if it is in Vegas).

The Beauty of the Cookie

Do you see the beauty I do?

My husband brought these home from work. He could have eaten them all, and never told me he got them. I'd have never known. He didn't.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

*Disclosure: Many cookies were harmed in the making of this post. These cookies were a gift, and were not paid for by my husband & I. However, we have already committed to spending unGodly amounts of money on Girl Scout cookies this year. Despite these being a gift from a Girl Scout, they were not provided by the Girl Scout corporation or a specific Girl Scout in exchange for a review. I would have given a good review about Girl Scout cookies even if I had not received them for free because they are totally awesome. Besides, why would I spend unGodly amounts of money on something we didn't love?

*Note to the Girl Scouts: Although I didn't receive these free cookies in exchange for a review, I can be talked into receiving MORE free cookies (specifically Peanut Butter Patties) in exchange for a review. In case you were wondering. Because we totally love your cookies.

When It Rains It Pours

I know you've heard that saying, "When it rains, it pours".

It's easy for me to try & get stressed out in these times. I try to rush and grab control of the situation QUICK before things get further out of hand. It's actually quite comical to see me attempting to take control of an uncontrollable situation. I'm stubborn, I'm persistent, and I LOVE feeling like I have control over a situation.

That's just the thing, though. It's just a "feeling". Often when I think I've gained control over a situation I later realized I was completely helpless. I had no control over anything. I may have felt like I did, but I didn't.

This is something I constantly struggle with. If you're not someone who likes to feel like they have control over a situation so they can know what to expect then you won't fully understand how hard faith can be for some people. It is really hard at times to have faith and trust God. Having faith, trusting God...that means surrendering control to someone else. It means handing control completely over to God and acknowledging that I have none...and THAT...is hard. Very hard.

My life has been a testament of faith over the past 1 1/2 years. There was a time when I didn't know what tomorrow held for my marriage. There was time when I didn't know what tomorrow held for my husband's job. We moved to Nevada, and I didn't know where we would live. I've miscarried babies, and not known why...or had doctors willing to find out why. I've known the end was close for our car, yet we didn't have the money to buy another. I've had plans changed at the last minute more times than I can count. I've had to trust God and have faith that He knew what was best. He knew what was going on, and I just needed to follow the new plan we'd been given. I've had to explain to others, who were less than patient (& even very upset) at the changes, that we truly couldn't stop the change. It happened. It is what it is. Please, join us in trusting God. Their lack of support didn't make it any easier.

I finally started dealing with the loss of my babies last week after pushing my feelings down in business for weeks. We knew the answer for Gary's job. We had gotten through the move. We'd made it to Nevada. We'd found a house. We were meeting friends. We had the money to fix our car. Life was getting better, much more manageable, I felt much more in control of the situation.

It's funny that every time I start to feel like I have gained control of a situation, I lose it. We all got sick, one after another. We found out our car had met her end. And we still didn't have the money to buy another, but God promised to provide. We don't know how, but we know God will provide.

I am struggling with having faith right now that He will provide. I KNOW He will, but because I don't know how, I feel like I need to do...something. I don't know what. There's nothing I can do. Yet I know God will provide. And thus the struggle continues. I KNOW God will provide, but I will feel better if I can find a way to control the situation myself. Will I ever learn?

When Are You Due?

I had someone ask me this today. Normally, if I weren't pregnant, that question wouldn't have bothered me...even if I'd just had a child.

Today, though, it nearly brought me to tears. The words where right there. I fought so hard not to scream them. "I'm supposed to be!!" "I WAS!" It took everything for me to not break down. Everything.

And so ends my silence. Everything happened at once. We were moving. I had a new life inside of me. We were about to finish our move. I lost that life. My baby went to be with Jesus. I kept focusing on the move and didn't deal with our loss. We moved to a new place. I had to unload a truck. Needed to start schooling the kids again. Had to find a place to live. Couldn't deal with our loss.

Couldn't? Or didn't?

When our car broke down the other day & I cried uncontrollably for 2 hours, I knew it wasn't because of the car. It was because I had lost another baby, and I hadn't dealt with our loss. I kept pushing it down because I was busy, and that was easier.

I didn't blog because I didn't know what to say. I was hurt. Blogging about it meant dealing with it. And I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to feel the pain. Because that was easier.

I could be superficial on Twitter & Facebook. I couldn't be superficial here. This blog...this is my heart. And my heart is broken.