Tuesday

Mall Puts Out Emergency Alert for Stranded Husbands

Authorities at Galleria Mall in Las Vegas issued an emergency alert today asking all wives, girlfriends, mothers, significant others, or anyone who might be lonely to please come claim the hundreds of men who have been abandoned at the mall this holiday weekend.

Employees at the mall didn’t realize the severity of the situation until closing time Sunday when they were forced to shepherd out scores of men from stores like Dick’s Sporting Goods, Game Stop, and The Sharper Image.

“We even had to have security cut off the line at Starbucks so they could actually shut down for the night,” recounts one employee. “I think that’s when we realized the severity of the situation. We let them stay until Monday hoping some of them would just naturally wander out and go to work. Unfortunately most are still here, eyes glazed over, as if trapped in a mindless prison with no way out. Every woman or child who walks by; they look at hopefully. I've never seen such a thing in my life!"

Currently, officers are questioning each man individually to see if he remembers his name &/or the name of the person who brought him. Pastor Bill Mac who happened to be among the crowd, “With any luck, some of them will remember a phone number or address too...but in this day & age, that’s a rare find! I don’t even remember mine!”

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