Pencil Control

I did it again! I was writing today and made a mistake. I realized my spelling error upon re-reading what I had written. I was horrified! How could I have done such a thing! I KNOW how to spell that word!

Then, it occurred to me. I had no control over what I had written. I had used a pencil. I had heard that when people get certain objects in their hands (guns, for example) that said objects take over control of that person’s body and they are no longer responsible for what they do.

Everything should be blamed on the gun. Err...the pencil.

Then, another thought occurred to me. I admit I probably shouldn’t think quite as often as I do. However, I’m far too fond of thinking to stop now…despite the trouble it sometimes gets me into. But I digress. I was thinking, and another thought occurred to me. There are potentially millions of children using a pencil every day. I’m sure you’re wondering what my point is. How could it be a problem for children to use pencils? Aren’t they supposed to use pencils? How else will they do their work if they don’t use a pencil? Honestly, I can’t answer that question. I can, however, tell you that there’s a problem.

These same children who are using pencils every day are turning in school work that is sub par. There are incorrectly spelled words, grammatical and punctuation errors, run-on sentences, sentence fragments. And we haven’t even started talking about the kids using pencils for math, yet! I could go on. You get my drift. The things kids are doing daily with pencils is atrocious!

There’s something worse, though.

These poor, innocent children who don’t know any better are getting BAD marks because of their work with these pencils. Does NO ONE see it but me? The CHILDREN are not the source of the problem here!

To top it off, children are jabbing each other with these pencils. Injuring one another in the name of childhood...and having no control over these actions.


I’m telling you once in the hands of a child, a pencil takes on a life of its own. It’s especially fond of going crazy in algebra, geometry, & calculus classes. And the CHILDREN are being blamed!

We need PENCIL control! IMMEDIATELY! If we do NOT rid children of these pencils IMMEDIATELY, destruction will continue to come! How can we expect our children to learn in this type of an environment? Of COURSE our public schools are getting failing grades! The kids are subjected to daily pencil use!

High-caliber pencils (the fat ones used in kindergarten classes as well as any containing color) as well as all ammo for pencils (lead &/or graphite) needs to be banned or highly taxed first as we cannot reasonably expect all pencil-toting children to just give up their pencils. After that, though, it will be easy. If they never touch the high-caliber or pretty pencils when they start school and don’t have the lead &/or graphite for the pencils when they’re older then what good will their pencil be? NONE! And therefore, it cannot do them any harm.

Will there still be leaded pencils out there? Of course, but they will only be allowed fully leaded in the hands of a trusted teacher because teachers never make mistakes.

I know what you’re thinking. If they don’t have a pencil, then they’ll just grab another device (i.e.-a pen) which will yield even MORE tragic results as it cannot be erased. Have no fear. That’s on our agenda next.

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