Silly Bandz are EVIL. Evil, I tell you!

That would be the logical thing to deduct, right?  Seriously.  Why else would an over-bearing government institution BAN them in it's hallowed halls?

Honestly, where are we today as a society that we must BAN a silicone bracelet from our school buildings.  Not just the classrooms, mind you, but they're not allowed in the schools.  Period.  Because they are evil.  Okay, so maybe they didn't call them "evil", but clearly they are.  I mean, come on!  When was the last time YOU were able to get a bracelet to go into a fun animal shape, put said bracelet on your arm, and then get said bracelet to go BACK into that animal shape?  Clearly, there is something demonic going on with these bracelets.

I know.  I appear all hip and cool for knowing what Silly Bandz are.  Time for the truth.  I ONLY know what they are thanks to my good friends at Google.  They led me to Mommy Message who enlightened my incredibly un-hip self.   (That link is for you other totally-not-up-with-the-times moms like myself.)  Apparently Silly Bandz are the latest craze.

Who knew?

Apparently the school districts, that's who.  They've come to save our children from themselves!  They saw this craze and thought that if they didn't stop this craze dead in its tracks, they'd have a mutiny on its hands!  The kids would be crazy with distraction from these bracelets.  They might think about something OTHER than the teacher droning mindlessly on.  (Oh COME ON!  You KNOW you had that thought at least once during Geometry.  I did.  Hmmm  Maybe that's why I got my first and only "C" in that class.  But I digress.)

Seriously, people? Seriously.  Remember the slap bracelets of long ago?  I don't mean remember their resurgence in the '90's or the 2000's.  I mean remember when they originally came out.  What can I say?  I'm an original type of girl.  That, and I'm old.

Here's what's amazing about those slap bracelets of long, long ago (back in the dark ages or before the internet):  Save for my "C" in geometry (which was really more related to my ineptitude at geometry rather than any bracelet), there was no long-term damage seen from us having those bracelets on our arms during school time.

I seem to be pretty normal.  (Stop laughing.)

Seriously, though.  What kind of a people are we today that we have to ban kids from having a bracelet on their arm during school hours?  We were just as distracted/distracting with our slap bracelets!  I remember sitting in class slapping my arm repeatedly with said bracelet.  I remember my best friend sticking her arm out by my desk to which I responded by slapping her arm with my bracelet.  She returned the favor with her bracelet when I stuck my arm out in her direction.  I think we'd both be charged with assault today.

What do the schools plan to do?  Do they not realize that no matter how much they ban these stupid silly bandz that kids will STILL be distracted in school?

Are they planning on taking away their pens, pencils, & paper too?  They'd better!  Otherwise, kids will doodle!  Some kids actually listen BETTER if they are keeping their hands busy.  It doesn't mean they're not learning!  Are they planning on banning thought?  If they don't, then kid's minds will wander!  Are they going to ban books?  If not, kids like me who learn better by reading than by hearing are still going  to spend the lecture time reading the material instead of listening to it.  Kids WILL be distracted!  It does NOT mean they're not learning!

Seriously, folks!

Do we not realize that kids can be kids and STILL learn?  I know it's a novel concept today, but really...can we try?  For the sake of the kids?

Or we could just make them all sit naked in empty, cold isolation rooms instead.  That way, NOTHING will distract them.  Not even the teacher.  Oh.  Wait.

1 comment:

Hannah said...

So when I was in middle school they banned jelly roll pens. Then my sophomore year in high school they banned jelly bracelets.

I don't remember why they banned the jelly roll pens, but the bracelets were because apparently they were supposed to mark how many times you had sex...which was ridiculous. I wore them because I liked them. :/

Schools are just DUMB.