I have to be honest here.  I think Valentine's Day is a farce created by Hallmark and FTD.  Isn't my husband lucky?

He's actually even luckier than that.  I don't like roses.  I'd much rather have carnations, tulips, or lilies.  I'm so easy.  And cheap.  (Okay...that didn't sound quite how I intended it to.)

There will be some women who expect flowers on Valentine's Day.  They don't just want flowers, though, they want the coveted red rose.  Except their husband forgot to order ahead.  Save for a lone, sad rose or two in the gas station, there aren't any available in the entire city.  What's a guy to do?

He can pick one of the other flowers that means love.  You can find complete lists at About.com and from Tara Florist in St. Joseph, Michigan.  I'll make it easy for you, though.  Here are several that stand out:

• White Chrysanthemum:  Truth, Loyal love
• Calla Lilly:  Magnificent beauty
• Orchid:  Rare beauty, love, refinement, beautiful lady
• Red Tulip:  Declaration of love
• Yellow Tulip:  Hopeless love, There's sunshine in your smile

If all else fails and you can't find any flowers, get her a cactus.  No.  Seriously.  It stands for "endurance".

(Disclaimer:  I cannot be held responsible for your wife's actions should you actually bring her a cactus for Valentine's Day.  I wouldn't actually advise doing this unless she has requested that you do so.  This is not official medical advice and I'm not the attorney general, but bringing your wife a cactus for Valentine's Day may be hazardous to your health.)