Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts


I Hyper-Control My Child's Electronics...Unapologetically

Yes, I hyper-control my child's electronics. No, I won't apologize for it. I think it's necessary. I think it's vital. I think it's a must. Okay, I feel like I'm just repeating myself. I'm pretty sure you get the point by now. I believe that it's imperative that we, as parents, exercise our duty and our responsibility to monitor our children online for their own protection.

How? Why? What? They let you do that? Is that possible? WHAT?


That's often the response I get from parents. I'm quite surprised how little parents know about monitoring their child's electronics. Many want to, but just don't know how. Or they think they have the electronics monitored but don't realize that there are holes in their monitoring.  Those who have young kids remember themselves as teens and, right. Sure your teens turn their iPods in every night. Uh. Huh. (Side Note: I don't understand that attitude. They're my children and they live under my roof. If I say to turn it in, they'll turn it in or they won't have it. It's that simple. But that's a horse for another blog.)

Now I'm no expert nor do I play one on TV, but I have learned a few things along the way. Our kids have a simple, shared, ancient flip-phone and iPod touches. To grossly simplify the monitoring, each of those has contact and parental restrictions.

What do those restrictions mean?

On the phone, "Contact restrictions" means that the kids cannot add contacts on their own. Why is that important? On the phone, it means that we are the ones who determine who they can talk and text with.  If we don't add that contact info and allow it, then they cannot talk or text with that person. We keep it this way because there is absolutely no way for us to monitor texts on this phone. We're not comfortable with that. As such, they are only able to text with us and emergency contact adults. On the iPod, it's the same, except that we also don't allow adding of emails as that's how they contact via Apple messenger.  That's one of those holes that many people miss.

That's about all there is to the flip phone. Like I said, it's an ancient, basic, "dumb" flip phone.

The other restrictions on the iPod (or an iPhone or iPad) are under the "General" tab in the "Settings" section. From there, scroll down to "Restrictions".  Once in there, you can disallow Safari, Facetime, Installing Apps, Siri, explicit language, & in-app purchases. You can also set the ratings for apps that you do allow your children do download. You can also set the i-device so that your children cannot add an e-mail account, contacts, or allow other apps (such as Facebook, Twitter, etc) to access the photos on their camera.  If you want to allow one of those accounts, you can set up the one they will have and then "don't allow changes" so that they cannot add anymore.  (Or in the case of contacts, add the ones they are allowed to have and then set it so that they cannot add anymore.)

Again, for little can be monitored that we don't allow texting, calling (or calling apps), access to the app store, Safari, etc.  We'd just rather not take a chance. 

Of course, I've only covered mobile devices here...and even then, only a small segment of them. The basics are this...if you care to monitor your kids online, then look for the restrictions under the "settings" section of your device.

So, yes, I'm THAT mom. I'm the mom who won't let her kids freely text. I'm the mom who won't let her kids "Facetime".  I'm the mom who places restrictions on her kids and limits what they see and do online and the people with whom they can communicate on their phone and iPods.  Yup. That's me. 

And I'm okay with that.


Then the Watermelon Had to Die

Watermelon Thoughts of THAT Mom

The picture above only tells part of the tragic story.  It is only half of one watermelon...but it says oh so very much. It is evidence of the tragedy that has been occurring multiple times a day for the past couple of weeks here at the Thompson household. 

The death of the watermelons.

But what you have to understand is that it's not my whole family working together to devour these tasty melons. Oh no! It's just one of us. That's right. And it's the tiniest one of us at that! Not only that...these aren't the baby watermelons. No, they're the mid-sized ones. 

That's right! My little Whitney, our Peanut, has single-handedly eaten 11 mid-sized watermelons in just 7 days. I haven't a clue where she's putting it. Well, except that she's also on a growth spurt. So there's also that. I guess, then, that it's fair to say that she's putting it in new clothes. Clever girl, that one! Figured out a way to use fruit to get new clothes!

Disclaimer: Several watermelon WERE harmed both in the making of this blog AND in the growing of my Peanut.

And I guess I'm okay with that.

How My Children Disappoint Me

Have you ever had that moment where you're just so utterly and profoundly disappointed in your children?  For some, it's when they hear their child is drinking, doing drugs, or having sex. 

If only. 

The other day, my teen says to me, "So, Mom, I was talking to my friends the other day..."


How many times am I going to have to tell this child?  We're HOMESCHOOLERS!  She's not supposed to have friends!

*Off to try and unsocialize my child some more.*  ('Cause based on the number of friends my children have, I'm clearly a complete and total failure as a homeschooling parent.)


Food Storage Saved Dinner!

That sounds so dramatic, doesn't it?  I picture a 6 gallon bucket with a red cape flying into the kitchen with a magic spatula.  (Some of you will get that.  The rest of you are trying to figure out why we would have a 6 gallon ANYTHING in our home.)

That's not really what happened, but it sounds so much more grand than my simple story.

I frequently fight with my 13yr old over who is going to cook dinner for the night.  By "fight", I mean she says, "Mom, can I cook dinner tonight?"  To which I respond, "Um.  No.  That's MY job! Get out of the kitchen!" "Um.  Duh.  Of COURSE you can.  If you need me, I'll be watching TV while eating bonbons cleaning something so as to look as productive as my 13yr old daughter who is slaving over dinner."  

Tonight was no exception.

Have I mentiond that I love that my 13yr old daughter loves to cook?  Because she does.  And I do.  You know, love that she loves to cook.

No.  She is not for sale.  Although she wants to own a restaurant or catering business one she might hire out her cooking skills.

Anyway...she was cooking lasagna tonight.  That's her favorite meal to cook.  We order our cottage cheese from Azure Standard.  She'll typically make lasagna once a week for the next 2-3 weeks; depending on how long the cottage cheese lasts.  She also follows my "cook once, eat twice" philosophy & will double the batch making one to freeze each time she cooks.  

She's going to make some guy fat and happy one day.  My guess is, an Italian will taste her lasagna and marry her on the spot.  

Oh please don't tell her Daddy I wrote that part.  He thinks she's still of the "Ewww...I'll NEVER do THAT even when I'm married" belief.  Even though she's not.  But don't tell him that either.

So...she starts cooking lasagna.  She pulls out the ingredients and knows she has everything.  Except she doesn't.  Someone left the cottage cheese out overnight...and then put it back in the fridge hoping they wouldn't get caught...and it got moldy.  Thankfully.  You know, so we didn't all DIE from eating it!

She's starting to panic.  No worry.  Mom will find a recipe.  Surely there's  a substitute, right?  Nope.  No yogurt in the house.  Nope.  No tofu.  (Do people really eat that?  Or do they just say they do so their vegan friends will think they're cool?)

Now, back to where I look like a Mormon.  Without the cool underwear.  I have a friend who IS a Mormon.  I was griping about how I really wish there was a bouillon that was msg and soy-free.  I have several mixes I make where I had to leave OUT that ingredient because we couldn't use the store-bought stuff.  

She told me how one of her favorite companies, Shelf Reliance, had this line of food storage products that was largely free of artificial junk and soy.  A food storage company?  What?  What was that?  I mean, sure we buy our grains and some other things in bulk from Azure, but we're not Mormon.  I don't do that 8 years of food storage thing.  I don't buy freeze-dried pickles and hot dogs.  ('Cause that's what I thought Mormons did.  My friend laughed at me.  Come to think of it, she laughs at me a lot.  Probably out of pity.)

I was thrilled to find that their chicken bouillon was soy-free and msg-free.  While browsing their site, I also discovered a sour cream powder.  "How cool would THAT be?" I thought to myself. (Yes, I just quoted myself thinking to myself.  'Cause that's how I roll.)  I hate sour cream and thus never cook with or even buy it.  However, some of my family members DO like it.  This would allow me to give them what they want without having to worry about countless tubs of sour cream going bad because I forgot about them.  Not that this has EVER happened...
Picture courtesy of Shelf Reliance
And where food storage saved the day.  I went online in search of an answer for my daughter.  After much searching, I found two recipes that contained ingredients that we had on hand.  I combined parts of the two...because that's ALSO how I roll.  (Read:  I have control issues and don't like people telling me what to do even in recipes.)  We had 1/2 a bar of cream cheese left and combined that with re-constituted sour cream powder to make the lasagna.

And it was good.  (I think that's a verse in the Bible, but I'm not quoting the Bible.  I'm saying the lasagna was good.  Very, very good.  So good, that we might even add sour cream to it in the future.  And I don't even like sour cream.  Go figure.)

And thus is my story of how food storage saved dinner! 


Dangerous Pizza (i.e.-Where Has Common Sense Gone?)

Want to know one HUGE reason I have chosen to homeschool?  Common Sense.  Or the SERIOUS lack thereof.

The point at which you are suspending a child for bringing a Lego gun to school is the point at which you should stop and re-evaluate what you are doing.

But no.  That's not enough. 

Neither was suspending a child for having bloodshot eyes from crying because his father had been murdered over the weekend.  (Which they knew...because the child's mother had called them that morning to inform them of the situation.)

Perhaps they'll re-evaluate their policies when they suspend a child for touching a pill after someone else placed it in her hand.  (Especially when they suspended her despite the fact that she immediately gave the pill BACK to the ACTUAL drug dealer...a fact which the school doesn't deny.)

Nope.  They're not done yet.  They'll keep going and give a child detention for having a piece of candy.  No.  Really.  A young girl was given detention for having a Jolly Rancher.  Unfortunately, you read that right.

Should I keep going because the stories just keep rolling in.  There are too many to count or possibly list here.  Children suspended for doing drugs because they took 2 Advil for cramps or a Tylenol for a headache.  Kids kicked out of school because they took Sudafed for a cold or Benadryl to help with allergies.  Heaven forbid a child get caught with a Claritin!  These kids should be ashamed of themselves!

But least THOSE kids aren't farting on a bus.  Or in a classroom.  That one got a kid arrested.  No.  Really.  I can't make this stuff up.  Wouldn't think to.  Because it's so far-fetched it would never have occurred to me in my wildest dreams that things like this would happen.  For the record, I believe every guy in my senior class and at least 1/2 the girls belong in jail for this same offense.  Add burping & good-heavens...I think we'd ALL have been in lock up!

One thing we should really all remember, though, is that religion doesn't belong in the schools.  An 8yr old boy learned that the hard way.  He was sent home from school and forced to undergo a psychological evaluation because he drew a picture of a stick-figure Jesus on the cross.  Based on what this boy had to go through, I can only imagine their punishment for Mel Gibson for The Passion.  They'd have probably hung him on a cross.  Wait.

But let's not forget what really started this all.  Guns.  They're all so dangerous that no one should ever own a gun.  Guns are bad.  Guns kill people.  If no one ever owned guns, there would never be any violence because no other weapon is ever used for violence. 

I'll give you a minute to stop laughing.

You might think that as long as children didn't bring the actual weapons themselves to school then they'd be okay.  I mean, the kids who got in trouble DID have actual guns even if they were tiny guns attached to plastic green army men or a Lego gun.  If a kid were to use the imagination God gave them and pretend and make a gun with their finger, that wouldn't be bad.  You know, like when playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians?   I mean, it's JUST a finger, right? 

Ha. Ha. Ha.  That would imply sense that is not quite so common any more. A host of 6 and 7 yr old kindergarten and first grade students have gotten suspended or kicked out of school for making a weapon with their fingers.  There was the kid in Michigan, the one in Texas, and the one in Oklahoma.  I can only imagine being one of these parents and being told that my child was being suspended for this "offense".  I would probably laugh at the administrators right then and there, sure that they were joking.

Never would I imagine, though, that a slice of pizza would get a kid suspended.  That'll show HIM for getting the pepperoni!  I sincerely hope he learns his lesson as he sits there in silence learning how to socialize with other children.


I feel certain after reading this that my children wouldn't survive even one day in public school. 

My son would make a finger gun while farting and eating a jolly rancher.  And drinking a cup of coffee.  Which alone would probably get him life in prison at 9.  Based on what I find regularly when doing laundry, he'd end up at school with rocks, Legos, dog food, and a fork in his pocket.  And possibly a half-eaten pb&j that may or may not be in the shape of a gun.  During math, he'd draw a picture of monsters, dragons, or aliens (or some combination of the 3) battling.  With guns.

And that's just my son.

Which is why we homeschool.


Bliss in a Box

We're on our way Tulsa to visit family right now.  Let me tell you...that pure traveling bliss in a box!  It's full of ear bud headphones & headphone splitters. 

They bring quiet. 

And peace. 

And cure boredom. 

They're like magic.

Pure traveling bliss in a box.


SOS Mom Saver: Save Your Child's Life!!!

Do you have more than one story on your house?  Then you NEED this:

Photo Courtesy of

No, Really.  

You do.

This won't save you time or money, but it very well could save your life or that of your children.  It's not a gimmick. It's a safe way out of the house should a fire leave you or your children trapped in a room.

You can buy the one linked above at or you can purchase one in person at Walmart.

Ideally, you should have one for each bedroom that is slept in.  If you can't buy all of them now, start with one.  One is better than none...and at least gives all of you an escape should you be trapped upstairs.

No, this isn't a pleasant topic, but it's an important one.  After hearing yet another story of a child dying because they didn't have a way to escape from a second floor was time to broach the topic.  I was shocked to hear a friend say that she didn't even know these existed.  

Well now you know.  

So go buy one!!

Disclaimer:  If you click on the above link and purchase the ladder, then I will get credit for that purchase as a part of the Amazon affiliate program. However, I don't care if you purchase through that link. I DO want you to buy this item if you don't already have one and live in a multi-story home but could care less whether you do so through that link, by going directly to Amazon, or by driving to your local Wally World!  Just please buy one. K? Thanks.

Recommended Books for Teens

I mentioned several books for teens on the show today.  You can find them on Amazon by clicking below.  (Please note that you are NOT obligated to purchase through Amazon or through the links I have provided if you do purchase from Amazon.  The links are purely for your convenience.  If you do decide to purchase through the links, then I will make a percentage of the sale which will be put towards the operating costs for the site.)

 (Picture from Amazon)

  (Picture from Amazon)

Uncompromising: A Heart Claimed By a Radical Love

  (Picture from Amazon)

Find out more about Alex and Brett Harris and how they are encouraging teens to live for Christ by going to their website:  Rebelution.


SOS Mom Saver: Fun in the Sun for Kids

This is a repost of an oldie, but a goodie.  It's hot why not take advantage of it?  Have fun outside with your kids...while utilizing that sun for some good!

Bake some cookies, brownies, or a cake outside.  If you're worried about bugs, put the pan on the dashboard of your car.  You can then tell your friends that you have taught your children about "going green" and solar cooking.  You'll instantly be "hip" and "relevant".  (You know, if those are things you aspire too.  I gave up on such titles years ago.)

Not in the mood for sweets?  Repurpose broken, useless bits of crayons and turn them back into useful crayons.

It's SO incredibly simple to do!

You just need some muffin pans or another type of silicone or metal pan (I have several that I've gotten at thrift stores for $.25-$1 each).

And of course...the broken crayons!

You put the broken crayons in the pan (whichever one you chose).  Be creative!  You can either mix colors or put all of the same color or variations of the same color into one section.

If you live in Vegas or another REALLY, REALLY hot area, you just put the pans out in the sun or on the dash or hood of a car.  If not, you can put them in an oven on 250.  (Some people will put the oven as high as 350.  We don't only because the silicon we use is not mean for high heat.)

They're starting to melt!

You can stir them every 10-15 minutes until they're completely liquid or you can just let them sit until they're liquid.  You can see the one at the top left corner that has been stirred (by my 8yr old it's not the neatest stir).

Once they're done, bring them in and let them cool.  If you live in a warmer area or just want them to cool more quickly, you can put them into the fridge or freezer to speed up the cooling process.  This may cause some cracking, though, if you don't let it sit on the counter and at least come to room temp first.  When you're done, you have a new, fun crayon shape!

They're done!  As you can see, we lost a snowflake.  We'll still use the bigger chunk, though, and put the smaller pieces into a baggie to use next time around.  These are the same molds we use when we make soap...aren't they pretty?  And so festive!

Look at the detail on that snowflake!  We make these to put on top of gifts at Christmas time or for birthdays instead of a bow.  It's much more useful than a bow!

Here you can see the front (pretty) side of the star as well as the back (not-so-pretty) side of the star.  You could use a knife to make the back side look prettier, but it would still look fine if you didn't.

When the crayons you made break down again, down, repeat!  The great thing about silicone is that you can usually just pop them out without hurting the shape.  I do pop them out slowly, though, especially with more brittle shapes (like the snowflake that we lost this time around).

This is a fantastic way to do a fun craft with the kids while being frugal and using up all of what you've got!

Disclosure:  Some perfectly good, non-broken crayons were harmed in the making of this post.  However it was a sacrifice they were happy to make on your behalf.

SOS Mom Saver: Find Out If a Movie is Family Friendly

To find out about new movies, you can always listen to Plugged-In on SOS Radio every Friday at 6:40am PST. 

Sometimes, though, your kids want to see an older movie that you haven't seen.  When that happens, I go to the Internet Movie Database at IMDB.

You enter the movie into the search window.  Click on it, then scroll down to the "parental advisory" section.  They'll give you specifics on what's in the movie rather than just another rating. 

I love that they do this as it allows parents with differing standards to decide for themselves what they would rate the movie (and if they'd find it appropriate for their child).


SOS Mom Saver: Free & Cheap Summer Activities for Kids

Summer can often mean bored kids.  Bored kids means you need things to do.  The cheaper (or free-er?) the better. Yes.  I know "free-er" isn't really a word.  Work with me here.

There are a good bit of free (and often air-conditioned) activities for kids in the summer; regardless of where you live.  Here are some that are offered in our area or have been offered in other areas where we've lived: 
  • Movie theaters run free movies...or cheap $.50-$1/movie (sometimes includes $1 concessions too)
  • Rec centers usually have activities & classes that they charge for, but look closer...they often also have free events & classes throughout the summer as well
  • If you're going to pay for a class at the rec center, check ALL of the rec centers that are within easy driving distance of your home.  In our area, there's one pool that offers swimming lessons for $12 a child...versus $32 per child at every other area center.  That's a HUGE difference when you've got 3 kids taking lessons!
  • Reading programs at the library & at book stores with prizes for the kids including free books, kids meals, movie tickets &/or tickets to local attractions or events
  • Cooking events just for kids at local health stores 
  • Local attractions will often have free or reduced days or times during the weekday (local zoos, aquariums, etc).  Usually, these will be during their usual slow times.  The free or reduced rate is an attempt to drum up business that they wouldn't have otherwise had.  If it's free, they're probably hoping you'll buy something in the gift shop or concessions to cover their losses...or it's a day that's been sponsored by a major company.
  • Be on the lookout for reduced swimming passes. If you know your kids will be at the neighborhood pool every day, it very well may be cheaper to buy a summer pass than to have them pay each day they go.  A bonus is finding a place that offers a pass like our rec centers.  We buy an all-access pass that works for swimming & fitness use, doesn't expire, and isn't exclusive to one person.  
  • Restaurants will often have cheap or reduced drinks ro desserts during the summer.  Again, you'll find these promotions happening during their typical slow times or what they call a mid-day "happy hour" from 2-4.
  • School districts or rec centers will often have free or reduced lunch programs for kids at local parks.  The bonus is that they'll also usually have some sort of activity or even a day camp during the time/hours they are there for the lunch.  You can usually participate in the free activity even if your child doesn't get a lunch.
What are some of your favorite free or cheap activities for kids during the summer?  Post here, on Facebook, or message me & I'll add them here.

SOS Mom/Kid Saver: Create a Chalkboard on Any Surface

In honor of "Take Your Child to Work" Day, my eldest is writing the Mom Kid Saver today.  Without further ado, I give you Kirstie:

As a kid, I know it can be very tempting to look for ways to destroy add personality to your room or your house.

I was ecstatic when my mom told me about chalkboard paint.  You can put it almost anywhere and that spot becomes just like a chalkboard.  How cool is that?  You can put it on walls, desks, doors, the side of a dresser, a chair...almost anywhere.

A friend had this on her desk and LOVED it!  It saved her parent's money because she didn't have to use nearly as much paper when doing her schoolwork.  Plus, it was really convenient.  She used her desk for "scrap paper" & erased it when she was done.

Doing this is really cheap, too!  The paint is as low as $12 for a quart which is more than enough for a small surface area.  (Mom here:  Do a search for or ask for "chalkboard paint" & you'll find it at places like Home Depot, Lowe's, & Wal-Mart.)  You can usually get a 12 pack of chalk for $1 at the Dollar Store.  In other words, guys, this is something you should be able to easily convince your parents to let you do.  If they won't buy the materials for you, it's cheap enough that you can easily save for it yourself.

-Kirstie :-)

What a GREAT idea, Kirstie!


How to Crate Train Your Child

Let me tell you a little story.

It all started with a puppy.  A tiny puppy.

Who clearly won our hearts.

We got her a kennel so she would have a place to sleep.

Let's try that again.  We got her...the PUPPY...a kennel so she would have a place to sleep.

They think they're pretty clever.  For the record, little ones can lock themselves inside kennels.  Please, don't tell the CPSC.  They might recall the kennel.  The kennel which clearly some of my family members love.

Just for kicks and grins, we're going to try this one more time.  We got the DOG a kennel.

Which eventually she was allowed to use too.


And a Child Shall Lead Them  And then?

My ever-wise son (truly...the child is wise beyond his years) looked at me and said, "Mama, are you saying there's no more hope?"  I looked at him.  Speechless.  I hear his voice again, "Mommy, with God there's always hope.  We can't give up hope."

And what do you say to wisdom like that?


An Open Letter to Our Neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

I would like to take this moment to apologize to you.  My son may or may not have taken rocks from your yard.  We're from a place where rocks are free and plentiful.  We do fully realize that people pay for rocks for their yards here.  It didn't occur to us that this was something we needed to instruct our children on until our son's rock collection had gotten quite large.

If you believe you are missing rocks in your yard, please come let us know.  We will attempt to appropriately hand out the rocks he has collected among neighbors making claims.  In his defense, the rocks he chose WERE very pretty and VERY shiny.  You have excellent taste in rocks. 

Have a Merry, rock-ful Christmas!  (That really didn't come out how I meant it.)


The neighbors with the purple van & the rock-loving child

Yes, The World IS Against You

Nana is coming in a week.  I didn't realize how wonderful this was until my kids volunteered to clean their bathroom for Nana.  

Did you hear that?

I said they volunteered to clean.  A BATHROOM.  THEIR bathroom.'s a kid's bathroom.  Specifically, the bathroom utilized by my son.

Need I say more?  I mean really.

So all was going well.  We were getting the house cleaned for Nana.

And then yesterday comes.

And I asked my son to go clean his room.

His response?  Is the whole world just against me?

Um.  I asked you to clean your room.

Son:   I know.  Have YOU seen my room?

Mom:  *face palm*

Go clean your room. 


Pillow Pets, Thompson Style

Christmas is coming and I try to be as on top of things as I can.  To that end, I present to you the Pillow Pet...Thompson Style:

You know you're jealous.


Aidan's Monsters

Every once in a while, you hear something that just touches your heart. This is one of those stories. Little Aidan has cancer. His family couldn't afford his they decided to sell his monster drawings on Etsy to raise money for his treatments.

If you don't have an artist for a child, you may not realize how this is even possible. I do so I completely get it. My son will sit down and churn out 20 pages of "fine" art in an hour. He draws monsters just like little Aidan. That's probably why this story got to me like it did. It hit close to home for me.

If you're interested in supporting this family and Aidan, then head on over to his Etsy page to take a look. You can purchase one of his masterpieces for yourself, or even just send the family a note to say they're in your prayers.

The Constitution...According to My 8yr Old Son

We've been studying the Constitution lately in our homeschool.  You always wonder if your children have really "gotten" what you've been teaching them.  It's often not until you see them apply it to real life or talk about it outside of school that you know they really absorbed what they've been learning.

Here are some recent conversations that have taken place at our house:
Mom (That would be me, but it's so much more fun to talk about yourself in 3rd person isn't it? Anyways...)
Mom:  Who spilled nearly half the box of Rice Krispies on the kitchen floor and didn't pick them up?
Kirstie:  Not me (Uh. Oh.  This is sounding eerily familiar...)
Whitney:  It wasn't me.
Trey:  I'll need to plead the 7th.
Mom:  The 7th?
(Oldest daughter leans over and whispers into her brother's ear.)
Trey:  I mean the 5th.
Mom:  Ah.  I see.  Why would that be?
Trey:  Mom!  The Constitution protects me from having to admit that I did something wrong!
Mom:  Sigh.  (Can you really argue when it's clear they are at least learning what you've been teaching them in school?  Frankly, I thought it was a brilliant defense.)  Okay, dear future attorney of mine.  Go pick up the Rice Krispies off the floor.
Trey:  But...
Mom:  Do you really want to argue with me on this?  How's this one?  The Lord told me that YOU are the child who is to pick up the Rice Krispies off of the floor, and the Bible says to honor your mother and your father.  The Bible ALWAYS trumps the Constitution in our house! 
Trey:  (Sighs then walks off to pick up the Rice Krispies.)
Or there's this one:
Son:  I want a .38 for Christmas.
Dad:  You mean the gun?
Son:  Yeah!  Like the revolving type with the snobby nose that you want!
Mom:  I thought you wanted Webkinz.
Son:  I DO!  I want Webkinz AND a .38 revolving gun.
Mom:  (The party-pooper of the bunch.  Apparently.) I'm fairly certain that you can't own a revolver at 8, son.
Son:  I read the Constitution!  It doesn't say ANYTHING about how old I have to be!  It just says I have the right to own a gun!  So I want one for Christmas!
Mom:  You're not getting a gun for Christmas.
Son:  Then you're violating my Constitutional rights.
Mom (to Dad):  This one's yours.  I'm out of ideas here.  (And again, I'm actually quite impressed with his understanding of the Constitution.  That's what we get for raising Constitutionalists, I guess.)
Remember that gun he wanted?  Now let's talk about the Sasquatch...
Son:  Dad, when can we go hunting?
Dad:  I'm not sure son.  We'll have to see if we can work something out.
Son:  Well it has to be after Christmas.
Dad:  Oh yeah?  Why?
Son:  Because then I'll have my gun and can shoot sasquatch.
Dad:  I'm fairly certain the government doesn't issue hunting tags for sasquatch.  Especially not with a .38...
Son:  Well!  If they give me any problems, I'll just remind them that I have the Constitutional right to shoot sasquatch!
Dad:  I guess I missed that part in the Constitution.
Son:  Well why would they tell you that you can have guns if you can't use them to kill sasquatch!  That's just dumb!
Mom:  (Sits on the bed amused at the conversation taking place.  And doing my best to stay out of it.  Because truthfully, I don't remember what the Constitution says about sasquatch, but I do know that my son makes a lot of sense!)
And have I mentioned the speedy trial by his PEERS yet?  Ahem.  I am more convinced now than ever that God has called this child to be an attorney.
Mom:  Son!  You left the milk out on the counter again!  It's been here all day!  You're going to have to pay $4 to replace it!
Son: What about my trial?
Mom: Come again?
Son:  My trial!  The Constitution says I get a trial with a bunch of my peers deciding if your discipline is okay or not.
Mom:  (Trying desperately not to snicker.)  Son.  That didn't mean that you got a trial every time you disobeyed and your parents disciplined you.
Son:  It doesn't specify WHAT it's for!  If you're going to punish me, then I want a trial by my peers!
Mom: Okay then.  (yells upstairs)  GIRLS!!!  Come down here please!
Son:  Why are you calling them?
Mom:  When you're a kid, your siblings are your peers.
Son:  GREAT!  I don't have a CHANCE!!  (And he didn't.)
What's sad is that I'm fairly certain my son has a better handle on the Constitution than most of those in charge of upholding it do.


Another Word About My Coffee-Drinking 8yr Old

I just wanted to set the record on this post straight.

I wanted to remind everyone that I am NOT the reason my son drinks coffee.  It is completely, totally, and wholeheartedly my husband's fault.  I had NOTHING to do with my son drinking coffee!!  It was just a battle I decided not to pick (because I knew I'd never win).

I posted the original coffee story a couple of years ago.  I shall let it serve as my proof that it's all Daddy's fault. 

Thus I shall retain my title as "Most Delusional Mother of the Year".